Spotting an emotional affair is not something you ever want to have to do, but in the case that it does there are some signs that will help determine if this is happening or not. Although “love is blind”, there are moments where you can still use your logic and intuition because you will notice a sense of discomfort, or distance in one’s actions.
A few signs of this are not wanting to be as intimate as they used to be, obsession with their phone, a lot of fighting, and no interest in the relationship. I know that this doesn’t always mean there is someone else involved and if not, then you still should reevaluate how your relationship is going, but if they are still not being themselves after multiple conversations and ending with “everything is fine” you might want to look deeper into the situation.
Open communication is key in every situation. If you voice your concerns about he/she talking to a certain someone and state why you feel the way you do in a calm, respectful way, your partner will do whatever it takes to ease you concerns and will feel bad they made you doubt their relationship with this person.
There are three key important things to keep in mind in this situation
- YOU STOPPED TALKING
At this point, they begin to keep secrets and are not telling you “everything”. They leave things out and avoid talking about anything serious, specifically your relationship and that status of where things are at. They do not share what is going on with them anymore and don’t project their feelings.
- PICKING FIGHTS
Everything is a battle. Things that used to be easy are now the hardest. Everything you do is wrong, even when you want to check in and make sure they are okay. This issue of picking fights normally means something else is going on if they didn’t always used to act like this.
- LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
Like I said earlier, we say that “love is blind” but you must trust your instincts. If you feel that something is off, it most likely is. It doesn’t have to be something crazy but not all the pieces are fitting together. You know the difference between being dramatic vs. reasonable and will understand when something is truly not right.
Now… What do you do?
- Be calm. Nothing ever ends well with taking things to the next level. Approach things with ease and grace and come from a place of confidence to know what you deserve in a partner.
- The key is to love yourself. Invest in yourself. If you know something is not working you have to invest in yourself to make it work, or to get out of the situation. You have to be with someone who not only respects you but loves you and you cannot settle for anything less.
- Be open with your feelings. Communication is so important. State why you feel the way you do and what you want to happen so you don’t feel that way.
If they are unable to meet your needs, they are not worth it. It is always easier said than done but remember to start with self love and with that, great things will follow.