As time goes on and days pass, there is a constant struggle that women and men of all ages deal with…self-love.
Why do we have such a hard time with loving ourselves? Why is it something that we cannot seem find the answer to?
There are so many aspects to self-love that most people do not even realize they are lacking. We have to love the good and the bad. We have to take care of ourselves, and most importantly we have to be able to parent ourselves, be positive and supportive of ourselves.
Self-parenting, having positive and healthy self-talk and learning how to motivate ourselves is not always easy. These are things we were never taught how to do but it is our job as adult to re-program ourselves to include these healthy and necessary habits.
We have to understand that we must start at the root of happiness, love, fulfillment, joy and peace which is learning to love, honor, support, accept and trust YOURSELF. I have four steps that I truly believe are important to create the happiness and peace that you desire!
STEP 1 – HEALTHY SELF-TALK & SELF-AWARENESS
Positive self-talk is the stepping stone towards creating your self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence. Most of us are on auto-pilot and we do not even realize the negative and damaging energy that runs through our minds each day. Learning to have self-awareness so that you can begin monitoring your thoughts is the starting point towards rebuilding your inner dialog.
When your internal self-talk is supportive, loving and caring and when you truly believe you are enough, your life will begin to change.
We live in a world where we are so busy and constantly giving but never stop to replenish our own selves. We go to work and give ourselves to a job, to our partners, to our kids, to our family and friends and yet never bother to ask ourselves “what do I need today that will take care of me?”
It is essential that we have time to focus solely on no one but ourselves and realize that not only it this healthy, but it is necessary. When you balance your life and focus on yourself you will have more energy for everything you want to achieve and everyone that needs you each day.
By taking time out of each day to put yourself first and make yourself a priority things will change immensely and you will realize that you are enough.
STEP 2 – STANDARDS & BOUNDARIES
How you show up in your relationships has everything to do with your level of self-worth. When you love yourself, you have standards in all of your relationships. You know that it is unhealthy to walk around giving yourself to anyone unless they have proven they are worthy of your love, trust and support.
Self-love in relationships is about showing up as a healthy person that honors how you feel regardless of what other people think. It is about learning how to spot unhealthy people or behaviors and being able to set boundaries with those people in order to protect yourself from abuse.
The hardest part with setting boundaries is learning how to enforce them. Telling someone what your boundaries are is just half the battle. The challenging part comes when someone violates a boundary and how you handle it. That is when you are being tested. Your test is about showing others just how much you love yourself and respect yourself to not tolerate abuse.
STEP 3 – ACCEPT YOUR PAST & PRACTICE FORGIVENESS
These are two things that can keep a lot of people stuck in anger and bitterness and negativity and feeling resentful. This isn’t something that will come easy, it takes practice and takes time and that is OK.
Acceptance is something that can be hard for a lot of people to do because in order to accept, you have to let go. You have to let go of the hope that things could be different. You have to let go of the pain that you feel. You have to let go of a person who probably hurt or betrayed you. You have to let go of the thought of how a situation should have looked like or should have gone. We have to understand that everything that has happened to you was supposed to happen to you to bring you to the place you are in today.
Without the past, you would not be here today, you would not be watching this video trying to move forward. We have to appreciate our past because that has framed our future.