There is nothing worse in life than being in a relationship and it not working out. Especially when you really loved the person and saw such potential for the two of you to really be together.
I have clients every day that come to me with the agonizing feeling of not being able to move past their past relationship. They live in the hope that their ex could someday come back. These obsessive thoughts cause people to stay stuck. It allows them to overlook the not so great aspects of their past relationship and instead it creates a fantasy that they were in fact in a great relationship.
This is not to say that they did not have good times with their ex but the harsh reality is no good relationship ever ends. It is hard sometimes to accept this when there were so many good things about this relationships. Perhaps you both had fun together, you liked the same things, you had great sex or great chemistry together but that still does not build a lasting healthy relationship. Those are important aspects but the foundation of a relationship are built on other things.
Here are some ways you can move on from the hope of your ex coming back.
STOP THE OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS – this is where you must stop reliving all of the good times you shared and thinking about what an amazing person they are. These thoughts are only allowing you to remember one piece of that relationship.
When something end and we have nothing new on the horizon, we often focus on all of the “good” times and seem to skip over the not so nice parts.
This is the time that you need to be mentally strong and stop yourself from fixating on these thoughts because they will not bring you closer to what you want — which is a healthy happy relationship! All they are doing is holding you back from completely moving on because you are clinging to the “hope” that things may change someday.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT – I cannot stress how important knowing what you want is in life. When you have a goal of a healthy relationship and you know not only what you want but what you need in a partner to be with someone long term. This goes hand in hand with knowing your self-worth enough. If you know your worth, it’s unlikely that you will become attached to someone that is not right for you — which could result in you comparing and obsessing over a past relationships that did not work out.
You will mourn the loss of what was but you will not stay stuck on the hamster wheel wishing and hoping things will get better or possibly change. You will take people at face value and know that this person was not the person for you.
For more tips and help to assist you in this process watch this weeks video.