Healing and Awakening: Spiritual Growth Through Narcissistic Abuse
Jul 19, 2024
There are many different factors that spark a spiritual awakening. For many, a spiritual awakening can happen from a life-changing event such as a marriage, a death, a breakup, or facing an illness. An awakening starts with a sense of unease or dissatisfaction with the way things are. There is a crack that just gets bigger and bigger and hurts more if you continue to ignore it.
The need for deeper mental awareness becomes profound. Once you begin to form that level of deep awareness, you start questioning everything—your personal beliefs, your programming, and societal norms. This causes you to start thinking more about how you feel and what you believe rather than just being a “go with the flow” person. You can no longer be who you’ve always been, and life begins to change. It is a deeper understanding of who you are and how you view life.
The way your own awakening unfolds might be different from that of another person. For me, I went straight into crying all the time and fell into a brief depression. I became anxious 24/7 and had a lot of intrusive thoughts. I thought I was going crazy.
Those “are you going crazy?” thoughts probably were not helping the anxiety, but it’s how I felt at the time. I also didn’t know what I know now, so there wasn’t much I could do without any information to help guide me through what I was going through.
I did not feel like myself but did not feel like my new self. I was in between and was living a life that didn’t feel comfortable. I was questioning every aspect of my life, and this caused stress and emotional exhaustion.
There were so many benefits I gained from this experience. The first is I learned I was highly sensitive, I learned I was an empath, and codependent. I understood how my past was affecting my future, and I learned the start of how to parent myself.
The point of a spiritual awakening is to get closer to your true self. You are forming a real and healthy reality instead of living in the fog of abuse, faulty programming, and negative habits. Personally, my emotions were all over the place; I was happy, sad, depressed, then I would cry non-stop. I just exhausted myself and then passed out every night, only to wake up in the middle of the night with painful anxiety. My sensitivity was on high alert.
I could not drink alcohol, watch anything too dramatic, or drive too far away from my comfort zone. I was crippled with anxiety and my inner self felt very overwhelmed.
As I started looking for answers and trying to find anything that would give me some clarity and peace, the more I started feeling better and healing. I began to see how connected I was with life and other people instead of being detached from everything. I realized I was actually healthy and no different than anyone else.
The point of all the pain you are going through is for you to have a deeper level of happiness within yourself. To get to that point, you first have to untangle everything that you think to be true and start a new path into who you are and what you believe. You start to become more deeply connected to yourself, which in turn helps you create healthier relationships with everyone else in your life.
Your values change in every area of your life, and you start going after more meaningful things instead of being led by the fog of how you were programmed. Now you are starting to move past the hurt, pain, and drama of your past into who you were meant to be.
Going through this transformation is hard, but once you start to rebuild your inner self, you will feel more love, joy, and happiness than you have ever felt in your life, and that is the point of this awakening for you.
