When to stay or leave? Here is how you know!

Sep 10, 2020

You have been in this relationship for either for a little while or many years. You are starting to see patterns with the person you loved or might even still love.

You are googling Narcissistic Personality Disorder and have realized that everything you are seeing is matching what you have been dealing with within your relationship.

Now you are faced with the dilemma of whether you should end your relationship or if you should try harder to make the relationship work.

The reality everyone must face, regardless if your partner has Narcissistic Personality Disorder or not is that a relationship requires two people. Two people trying and taking responsibility for themselves is essential for any relationship to work.

So often I hear one partner taking on all the responsibility in the relationship. They believe they have control over whether their relationship works or fails, but the truth is they do not.

The first thing you are starting to learn is that all narcissists need control. If they can control how others see them then they can ensure that their biggest fear will not become a reality.

They fear someone seeing them for who they are and exposing them or perhaps leaving them. Since these fears are so strong and because they are extremely insecure with no sense of their own self, they have learned how to cope with this emptiness by using tactics to get what they need to survive.

They use manipulation to control how others view them. This tactic is also used to essentially get what they want from their partner. They want others to show them, tell them, and prove to them constantly that they are perfect. They never want to be called out for their bad behavior or have someone hold them accountable for their actions.

They want their partner to think they are god. They want their partner to be so grateful for the fact that they are with them that they throw their standards out the window. If their partner never has standards, then they will take whatever the narcissist gives them.

If you want to stay in this relationship you may be able to walk on eggshells for a little while, but at some point, one of two things will happen.

You will stay in the relationship and continue to be abused, manipulated, and controlled. Your source of validation, love, and approval will all come from this person and this relationship (all things outside of yourself).

You will never communicate to your partner your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. If you finally begin to be vulnerable with this person you will soon realize that they cannot sit in a space for you.

You can never fully be you in its entirety. Since a narcissist lacks empathy, they will never be able to sit in a space for you. It will always be about them, what they need, and how they feel.

There are people that have been with a narcissist for years. They were unaware of who they were dealing with and now can see the relationship for what it is. They have begun to see the narcissists for who they are and have woken up to the abuse.

When a spiritual awakening happens, it is because you have experienced so much pain that you began searching for answers. You were searching for something to help make sense of what you have been feeling and going through.

You were searching for answers to help ease the pain of what you were experiencing. When you search for answers you will find them and then you will awake.

If a person is still asleep then the abusive cycle will continue. The cycle is very simple and looks the same every time.