5 Common Issues In RelationshipsNov 04, 2022
Like all things in life, everyone faces issues in their relationship at one point or another. Sometimes it can be a big disagreement, such as purchasing a new car, to something smaller like leaving the toothpaste cap off or an empty milk carton in the fridge.
All couples will disagree at one point; here are the 5 most common issues that couples will face in a relationship:
Money and finances are extremely common issues that couples face. When we are growing up, we are taught how to handle money, and we see the adults in our life spend and plan their finances. We pick up habits from an early age, and as we become adults, these habits shape how frugal or loose we are with our finances. Conflict comes when someone else who has different experiences, skills, and habits regarding money comes into our life. Where one person is more conservative with their money, saving, and planning, the other may spend more freely.
Issues regarding sexual intimacy can be complicated and uncomfortable for couples. There can be a wide range of what is causing a difference in sexual intimacy, from differing interests and libido levels to life changes or hormones.
When in a new relationship, couples can experience intense feelings in the beginning, but as the relationship goes on, that high starts to fade. We start to see differences in desires and interests. This is why the beginning of a relationship feels more passionate and lessens as time goes on. Changes can also be due to age, medical problems, childbirth, etc. Because of the vulnerability of sex and the underlying causes, it is difficult for most partners to express dissatisfaction.
Intimacy is often associated with sex; however, intimacy also includes a relationship’s physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects. Intimacy is the feeling of connection and togetherness with our partner. Having intimacy in our relationship provides us with satisfaction and fulfillment. Sex and intimacy often go hand in hand because of the level of emotion and vulnerability that we share with a partner. That is why the act of infidelity hurts us so bad; it is a betrayal of a deeply intimate part of ourselves. We have different ways of showing someone intimacy or expressing our love language. Some people need to hear words of affirmation, while their spouse needs physical touch. Having different love languages is not bad but can cause issues if partners cannot meet the love language you need.
People communicate differently. Not everyone has the same skill to effectively and openly say what they mean, and even then, the message can get lost in translation. Communication is a two-way street that involves the effort of BOTH partners.
Communication is often viewed as something passive that happens naturally, but that is simply not true. Communication is more than our words; it is our tone and body language. Healthy and effective communication requires you to be open, honest, and direct. When communication breaks down, the relationship can begin to break down too. It is important for you to listen to what the other person is saying. Don't interrupt and keep your attention on them. Then take time to think before you respond. Take the time to fully understand what they are saying; if you aren't sure what they mean, ask. It is easy to retort back in the heat of the moment to try to get your point across. However, taking that extra second to respond can help you form a healthier dialogue.
This can be a big problem for couples with kids and even those without. When we are with someone we love, it is easy to forget that they may have different career or family aspirations than we do. Parenting can become an issue when discussing when to have a family, who will do what, and how big of a family to have. Then issues arise with how to parent the children from infancy to the teenage years. This issue can become even more tricky if we are looking at a step-parent role.
Unfortunately, there is no simple answer. Issues with parenting require several different steps, and what works for one family may not work for another. One of the biggest components, however, is communication. Communicating everyone's needs, wants, expectations, and boundaries. Shaping behavior and navigating the family takes time and effort. It is important to be patient and understand the other person's perspective. You don't need to agree with the other person, but understanding what they want and where they are coming from can help you determine common ground that is beneficial for the family as a whole.
Though many couples can find themselves struggling with the same issues, the solutions are not the same. Thankfully, there are steps that you can take to begin better managing those issues. The first step is to have open and honest communication. To listen without interruption or judgment to understand what the other person is saying. You don't need to agree, but you do need to put in the effort to really hear them. Next, establish boundaries around behavior, communication, and even scenarios. Finally, you will want a support network, one that can help you individually and one to help as a couple. It is important to have the support that we can rely on as individuals because we need support outside of our partner to help us see and handle things clearly. Having a support network as a couple is also important because that sort of dynamic is difficult for many people to navigate. Not only are we focusing on our needs and wants, but we also have to take someone else's into account and find common ground between them. A support network as a couple can help you navigate complex situations where you are triggered and at each other's ends.