Coming out better – don’t be bitter

The only way you can come out no bitter is if you get better. The only way you can get better is if you let go of being a victim. The only way you can let go of being a victim is if you can start to see what you should be learning from this experience, learn it so you can change.  

When you change, your results change. You’re no longer attracted to the same people. You’re not carrying around the same insecurities. You’re above that. You’re not so victimized by what someone did to you but instead you start seeing it as a blessing.  

I’m going to tell you it’s the easiest thing in the world to be bitter. We’ve all been there, it’s unfair what has happened to us. Your childhood wasn’t good, you didn’t get the opportunities that this person has had, your partner left you, you’ve had to work 10 x’s harder than everyone else, but here’s the thing you can’t compare yourself to other people. Some people may not have to walk in your exact shoes, but they will face their own struggles because we all do. You can’t go around just thinking you’re the only one in the world who’s going through what you’re going through.  

There are plenty of people who have gone through exactly what you’re going through. What you don’t always see are the people that come out on the other side successful, happy, and full of energy. The people that have a great relationship feel confident and want more for themselves. Those are not the people sitting around complaining about where they are, those are the people that are doing something about where they are.  

That is a mindset.  

There is a difference between being bitter and being upset. I don’t want you to deny how you feel and not be upset. You can be upset, frustrated, exhausted, those are all normal, but I want you to have more self-control to know when to stop.  

This is where you pivot from being a victim, which most of us are, to being a fixer and fixing where you are regardless of how you got there.  

There is a letting go that must happen for you to have this mindset. Letting go means you must forgive. You must forgive yourself and others. You must accept that there is a reason for where you are even if you can’t see it right now.  

Bitterness comes from feeling like you’re being treated unfairly. What causes bitterness is when you hold onto the feeling of being treated unfairly.  

I want you to start thinking about who you still must forgive. It is them or is it you? Forgiveness is not something you may want to do but forgiveness allows you to see people as humans that make mistakes. Forgiveness is where grace lives and forgiveness allows you to move on. It doesn’t say what happened was ok, but it does accept that it happened so you can now do something about it. When you accept what happened, not logically but emotionally, then you can do something about it. Now you can stop feeling sorry for yourself and playing the victim card.  

You might have been a victim but don’t act like one.