Fear of Happiness

abandonment anxiety catastrophic thinking confidence emotional health Feb 21, 2024

Today, I want to talk about a topic that resonates deeply with many of us: the fear of letting ourselves be truly happy. This fear, often rooted in our past traumas and heartaches, can be a significant barrier to embracing joy and love in our lives. 

The Fear of Letting Yourself Be Happy 

A friend once told me, "You are absolutely afraid to let yourself be happy." That statement hit me hard. It made me realize that despite thinking I was healed, I was still terrified of entering a new relationship. This fear isn't uncommon, especially after enduring emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, or any form of trauma. It leaves scars and builds walls around our hearts. 

 The root of this fear often lies in our experiences. It's the betrayal, disappointment, and heartache we've faced that create a defense mechanism within us. We become terrified of vulnerability and intimacy, not because we're afraid to show our true selves, but because we fear what others might do with our openness. 

Emotional Self-Reliance 

For many, like myself, the instinct to rely solely on oneself becomes a survival mechanism. While being independent and goal-oriented is commendable, emotional self-reliance can often lead to shutting people out. The question is, are we emotionally self-reliant in healthy ways? Can we soothe ourselves, or are we constantly seeking external validation and support? To truly overcome this fear, we need to break down the walls we've built around our hearts. It's about learning to trust again, not just in others, but in ourselves. 

Healing from Trauma 

Healing from trauma is a layered process. It involves not just self-improvement and self-love but also opening up to vulnerability. Remember, vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; it's a step towards healing. 

The Fear of Losing Control 

A common trait among those afraid to let themselves be happy is the fear of losing control. This fear often stems from past experiences of instability and unpredictability. The key to overcoming this is to embrace the vulnerability of life and relationships.