Heal Faster: The Breakup Recovery Checklist

Guys, today I want to give you a guide to breakup recovery with no BS! Breakups are tough, no doubt about it. But guess what? With a few changes, we can make sure you won't feel like you're totally crumbling because of it. 

Step 1 Ride the Emotional Rollercoaster 

Part of any breakup is just dealing with all the emotional stuff. Yeah, one day you might feel like you are good to go, and then you see a post of them, and now you can't even get out of bed. This is all totally normal, so don't feel hopeless with all that coming and going. 

Don't bottle up those emotions. Cry if you need to, scream into a pillow, or dance it out. Embracing your feelings, it’s not a bad thing even though I know it’s uncomfortable. If you have watched my videos, you know how important it is to process everything. The bottling up is what causes everything to just explode, or you’ll just bring it into your next relationship. 

Reach out to your support system; we all need friends, family, or an animal. Asking for help or just unloading with someone isn't a sign that you are less than at all. It doesn’t mean you’re a hot mess, it means you’re human. It should show you that even without that person, you still have people who actually love and care about you. You're not alone in this and opening up helps lighten the emotional load. 

Step 2: Find Your Identity Beyond the Relationship 

Now, let's talk about rediscovering who you are without your ex. It's time to remember who you really are! A relationship is part of our life but it's not who we are and sometimes the love is so great we can forget that. 

Remember the things you used to enjoy? Like going to the gym, playing tennis, or doing crafts – those are the things you should start doing again after a breakup. We like them, so why not, right? After a breakup, we often feel really lonely, and being alone can seem bad. But instead of just being sad alone, do things you love alone, and I promise you'll not only get over the breakup but also start feeling better about being by yourself! 

Now, let's talk about setting goals. When you were in a relationship, most of your goals were probably tied to that. But after a breakup, it can feel like you're lost. That's because you forgot how to set goals just for yourself! 

For example, if you're into going to the gym, set some goals like, "In one month, I want to be able to run a mile in this time." Setting goals gives you structure, something you might have felt was only there when you were in a relationship. Goal-setting is like building a plan for yourself. Without it, we can get bored or stressed because we don't know what to do. So, setting goals helps you stay focused and feel more in control. 

Step 3: Nurture Your Emotional Well-being 

Okay, I understand that sometimes you are going to be sad. Healing isn't just about your heart; it's about your mind too. One thing that might sound like something you did as a teen but actually helps is journaling about how you feel.  

Most of us never really have the time to process it all; we just feel it and move on. When we write stuff down, it forces us to listen and read what we are saying. It's almost like you get a third-person point of view on the situation, and that's going to allow you to understand a little more about how you’re feeling a certain way. This will also allow you to start processing how you feel rather than just feeling and nothing ever changing.  

The next thing is hire yourself a really good, qualified coach. Someone will allow you to feel but also start moving you forward. Therapy and coaching aren't just for crises; they're an investment in your well-being. 

 Step 4: Boosting Confidence and Self-Love 

Let's start with something positive: words can hurt, but they can also help us feel better. It's like having a cup of coffee in the morning – telling yourself good things can make your day strong. So, don't forget your morning affirmation. Just look in the mirror and say, "I'm strong," "I'm worth being loved," "I'm my own person." It's simple: sticks and stones break bones, but words matter, so start your day with a good affirmation. 

Now, notice the little wins in your day, no matter how small. Did you finish a report? Did your kids like dinner? Did you get up early? Even if it's just a small improvement, it's a big deal, especially when things feel tough. Building up good stuff is like building with bricks – it's not magic, things don't just happen. So, when you don't notice the small wins, your day might not feel positive. It's like setting goals – every step toward them is a win! 

 Step 5: Healthy Habits, Healthy You 

Now that you've got your emotions in check, let's talk about getting physically on track because feeling good on the outside can really boost our emotions and confidence! 

Start with some simple exercises. If you're feeling a bit down, take a quick walk. It's like your internal Apple Watch telling you, "Time for a stroll to process those emotions."  

Remember, good food equals a good mood. Skip those late-night snacks or too much to drink – they might feel good for a moment, but it's a bummer later. Breakup recovery is tough enough, so let's not let our food choices add to the stress. If you're not big on cooking, now's the time to try. Find a recipe you like and focus on that for a bit. 

If you find yourself staying up late watching Netflix and scrolling through old photos, go to bed! Sleep not only boosts your mood but staying up late is often just a way to stay busy. And, let's be honest, sometimes it just leads to boredom. Get that sleep schedule locked in and see how it feels! 

Remember, improving our lives on our own is the key. Focus on things that make you happy, not them. It might feel like everything's falling apart, but hey, you survived before them, and you can do it after!