How To Be Happy Being Single

Feb 18, 2022

Being single has always had its pros and cons. Having freedom is great, but it gets a little lonely after a while. It's nice to have someone to come home to every day, share our hopes and worries with, and who is there to support us when we need it. 

At first, a lot of us are okay with being single. We embrace it and find it empowering. But after some time, we start to have more difficulty with being single. We don't enjoy it as much as we first did, and eventually, we become fearful. We can have this fear for a variety of reasons. We fear that maybe we aren't good enough, we can fear not finding the right person, fear that we found the right person and gave them up, or just simply fear being alone or abandoned.  

Friends, family, and even society can compact this fear of being alone. It is normal for many families to ask if you are seeing anyone and try to push you to settle down and start a family. As a whole, there is a pressure that we need to complete certain goals by certain ages; get a job, get married, have children. Though more people are breaking away from the norms, it is still an underlying pressure or clock that affects a majority of people. Then we go on social media or visit friends and family, and we see them getting these life goals. We see them happy with someone they love and who loves them. We see smiling faces and all these images of a perfect life. And though we know that everything we see on social media is a small filtered portion of people's lives, it's hard to not be impacted by what seems to be perfect happiness.  

What is it that actually makes us afraid of being single? It's easy to think it's solely about love, wanting love, finding love, being in love, and fearing that we won't have love. But that is not necessarily what we are afraid of. More often than not, what is driving that fear is low self-esteem and low self-worth. That is why we need to take a step back, acknowledge, and accept that it is okay to be single. 

Benefits Of Being Single 

When we are single, we have the time to focus on ourselves; on our desires, dreams, and what it is that we need. We can focus on looking deep within ourselves and healing old wounds that can be holding us back. There are a lot of benefits to being single, including: 

  • Making time for yourself: You are able to focus on self-care, self-healing, and strengthening your relationship with yourself. 
  • Cultivating deeper non-romantic relationships: Having those deep non-romantic relationships and friendships is extremely important for your mental health. You get access to new or different perspectives as well as a support network to help you when you are at your most vulnerable.  

When we are able to be happy with being single, it can have such large impacts on our mental and emotional health. It is important to be our own best friend and learn what we need and how to take care of ourselves.  

How To Be Happy Being Single 

We can do several things to learn how to be happy while being single.  

  • Prioritizing connections: You can still go out on dates and be happy being single. We want to prioritize our relationships, make connections, and grow our support networks. It's important to focus on the connection itself rather than focusing on an end goal of a romantic relationship or marriage.  
  • Focus on self-growth: This is the perfect time to get to know you and your needs. Take on a hobby or take classes and learn a new skill. The point is to focus on yourself to see what it is that you enjoy. 
  • Practice self-care: Part of self-growth is self-care. Make sure that you meet all of your needs physically, mentally, and emotionally.  
  • Set goals: Set goals for yourself that can be accomplished in small steps. This is a great exercise for rebuilding confidence, smaller goals gives you a greater chance of succeeding and feeling accomplishment.  
  • Put yourself out there: It is the perfect opportunity to put yourself out there to meet new people, try new things, and build new connections when you are single.  
  • Practice Mindfulness: Being mindful is the ability to be fully aware of what is happening at that moment, aware of where you are, what you're doing, and keeping the past and future worries out of your head. It's acknowledging your thoughts as they pass by and letting them go so you can keep your mind completely focused on the present.  
  • Acknowledge your fears: It is okay to be afraid, to have worries and doubts. But if you want to begin working past them, then you need to acknowledge those feelings. When we acknowledge our fears and worries, we can begin working on where they are coming from and healing ourselves.   
  • Be a little selfish: It's okay to be selfish sometimes, and being single allows you that opportunity. Take that trip out with friends, stay out late, buy that piece of jewelry. Make decisions for you and for your happiness. Sometimes, being selfish is not inherently bad; it is taking time to acknowledge your needs and putting yourself first.  

Self-improvement and self-development is a continuous process, and it is something that we constantly need to work on and grow as we grow. When we are single, we don't have to worry about the needs of others. We are able to focus internally on ourselves, on what we need and want, how we can heal, and what we want for our future. Entering a relationship won’t fix your unhappiness or loneliness, you can’t use it as a bandaid. To be happy with another person, we first need to be happy with ourselves. To be happy with ourselves, we need to learn more about us and work to continue to grow.