How to Become Non-Reactive to PeopleSep 16, 2021
Narcissists need supply along with constant drama and attention. You must understand that when a narcissist feels something uncomfortable that they cannot fully deal with, such as jealousy, abandonment, shame, or guilt, they will lash out. They will make a snarky comment in an attempt to cut you at your knees.
Sometimes the insults will be more up-front and other times they will be more passive-aggressive and leave you asking yourself “was that an insult?”. That is their plan, they intend to throw a little shade your way and belittle you so that they can feel better about themselves.
If you are unaware of how this person operates when they feel these uncomfortable feelings, then you will react. You will fall victim to their trap, and you will give them what they want, your energy. If you are unaware, you react because you cannot stand that this person thinks of you in a certain way. You cannot believe they are questioning whether you are a good parent or not. You cannot believe they think you are selfish.
They will think you are always complaining and are negative.
They will tell you that you are too demanding.
They will tell you that you don’t accept them which is just their excuse for getting away with bad behavior.
They will not respect your boundaries and want to push back.
While you want this person to see you in the light that you see yourself, here is the reality. This person does not want to see you as you see you. They do not value you. You are not a person to them; you are merely a thing that gives them what they want and if you are not giving them what they want then you are a problem.
As adults, we have to accept that not everyone is going to like us. We just need to like us, that is all that matters. Now if there are things about you that YOU want to change, then great. Learn, grow, and get better, but you should never put what someone thinks about you above what you think about you.
A lot of the time reactive behavior takes place because you have not learned how to master your own emotional self. It is habit to be reactive. When you start learning practicing self-awareness and doing the hard work it takes to reprogram your subconscious mind, you will no longer allow others to have that kind of control over your emotional or mental state.
Being AWARE is powerful because in those moments you get to choose.