How To Stay Calm When They Trigger You
Dec 03, 2024
Ever feel like someone just knows exactly what buttons to push? Like they say or do things that instantly make you feel angry, hurt, or just plain frustrated? You’re not alone. We all have those moments where someone’s words or actions hit us right in a sensitive spot. But here’s the good news: we don’t have to let them control how we feel. Let’s talk about how to stay calm when someone triggers you.
- Take a Deep Breath
Sounds simple, right? But taking a deep breath is one of the fastest ways to calm yourself down. When you feel your emotions start to bubble up, pause. Breathe in slowly for four seconds, hold it for four, then breathe out for four. This helps your body relax and keeps you from reacting too quickly.
- Remind Yourself: It's About Them, Not You
When someone tries to trigger you, it’s often more about what’s going on with them. Maybe they’re having a rough day, or they’re dealing with their own insecurities. If they’re being rude, judgmental, or insensitive, remember: that’s on them. You don’t have to take it personally.
- Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t control what others say or do, but you can control how you respond. Think of it like a game: if they’re trying to get a reaction from you, staying calm is the best way to “win.” Imagine yourself as a rock that their words just bounce off. The more you practice, the better you’ll get at it.
- Practice “Pause Before You React”
In the moment, it’s tempting to react right away—maybe defend yourself, get angry, or snap back. But what if you didn’t? What if you just paused, counted to five, and asked yourself, “Is this really worth it?” Most of the time, walking away or staying calm is way more powerful than giving them the reaction they’re looking for.
- Shift Your Focus
If someone says something that really bothers you, try to shift your focus to something else. Think of things that make you happy or feel at peace. Remember your favorite place or think about someone you love. Bringing good thoughts into your mind can make whatever they said feel smaller.
- Remind Yourself: Triggers are Temporary
The feelings that come up when someone triggers you won’t last forever. They’re just temporary waves in your mind. If you ride them out and don’t react, they’ll pass. Imagine those feelings like waves at the beach—they come and go.
- Take Care of You
When you know someone in your life is likely to trigger you, it helps to take extra care of yourself. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, eating well, and doing things that make you feel good. The stronger and happier you feel, the less someone’s words or actions will affect you.
- Learn from It
Triggers can actually teach us a lot about ourselves. When you notice someone triggers you, ask yourself, “Why did that bother me so much?” Sometimes, we can discover areas where we need to grow. And if you learn from each trigger, they’ll start to bother you less and less.
- Celebrate Staying Calm
Each time you manage to stay calm, give yourself credit! It’s not easy, but the more you practice, the stronger you’ll get. Soon, you’ll notice you’re reacting less, feeling calmer, and not letting anyone’s words steal your peace.
Staying calm when someone triggers you is a superpower. It gives you control over your feelings and keeps your peace safe. Next time someone tries to get a reaction from you, remember these steps. You’ve got this—you’re stronger than any trigger, and each calm reaction is a step toward a happier, healthier you.
