How To Tell If They’re Ghosting You

breakups communication dating relationships Mar 24, 2023

We all know someone who has been ghosted or even did the ghosting. Over the years, ghosting has seemed to have gained in popularity as a way to just drop someone that we aren't interested in anymore.

Ghosting is a way to suddenly and without reason end a relationship by ending all communication with them. Depending on the relationship, it could be leaving someone on read, unfriending and blocking them, or even ignoring and avoiding the person.

If you have been ghosted before, it can be a painful experience, especially if you thought the date or relationship was going well. Not knowing what happened and why they suddenly dropped you can be a rough feeling.


So why would someone choose to ghost?

Someone can choose ghosting for a lot of different reasons; there isn't just one.

One of the most understandable reasons that someone may choose ghosting is for safety. They ghost because they are afraid of the confrontation or what could happen if they end it in person or over text. Ending relationships usually isn't amicable; it is emotional, rough, and usually one-sided. So someone choosing to completely avoid any confrontation because of fear of retaliation or violence is understandable.

Another reason that someone may choose to ghost is because it is convenient. It requires no real action on their part. You don't need to do anything special. You just stop communication. People can also choose ghosting to avoid the awkwardness of breaking up. Regardless of the reason, ending a relationship is an uncomfortable situation; some people either can't or don't want to handle the emotions that come with that type of confrontation. This could also be because they are afraid of hurting you or seeing the hurt they caused you, and ghosting allows them to not "actively" hurt you. Another reason is that they don't believe the relationship was that serious. For them, it was more casual and did not require the energy for a more personal breakup style.


So how can I tell if they are about to ghost me?


It is easy to assume that ghosting comes out of nowhere because it is a sudden and abrupt end to the relationship. And that can be true in some cases that it was completely out of nowhere. But the truth is that in many cases, we can see some signs leading up to being ghosted.

They are bailing on your plans together.

Typically, you will see someone start to withdraw from the relationship. They are not following through on your plans together like they used to. It is difficult to make plans with them, and when you finally have something planned, they bail. They seem to always have time for other people and other activities that don't involve you.

They start to change their behavior.

You will also see a change in their behavior. They start going out more with their friends, spending weekends at the bar or club, or choosing to chill at home more. There is a change in how they spend their time both with and without you. But as time goes on, they start spending more and more time doing things by themselves or with other people.

They start responding less and less.

They start to respond less to your messages and texts. This could be waiting hours to respond, forgetting to text you back, or even responding with one-word answers and not engaging in a full conversation with you. It starts to feel like you're forcing small talk or pulling teeth. Every message or every call is forced and short.

They don’t talk to you when they have the choice.

This is your biggest sign. It may seem obvious, but it can be hard to accept the facts, especially if this is someone who is involved in your life and who you physically see from time to time. This can be a coworker, someone in your friend group, or just someone who is often around the same area you are. They are ghosting you when they stop talking to you unless they have to. If this person hasn’t answered your texts in days and you spot them at the bar one night, chances are they will talk to you if you initiate the conversation. And if they are someone who does not like confrontation or is toxic, they will explain away the behavior. They will also turn around and try ghosting you again. If someone won’t talk to you and will avoid you if the option is there, then they are ghosting you.