Lost in Giving when you are codependent

avoidant attachment betrayal breakup codependency confidence Mar 29, 2024

Codependency is like getting caught in a complicated web where you forget who you are because you think your value comes from helping others. It's a pattern where you give up a lot for others, struggle with setting boundaries, and always put others first. This article breaks down the basics of codependency, explaining how it affects you and offers guidance on how to start healing. 

Childhood lays the foundation for codependency, where seeking approval from caregivers becomes ingrained. Unfortunately, not everyone receives the necessary emotional support, leading to an unconscious search for validation throughout adulthood. Signs of codependency include a deep need for approval, conflict avoidance, excessive apologizing, and a fear of rejection or abandonment. 

Step 1: Acknowledge - Confront fears and feelings, understand the root causes, and learn to self-soothe by validating emotions. 

Step 2: Moving through Emotions - Embrace feelings without judgment, take responsibility for personal happiness, and acknowledging that not everyone needs to agree with one's emotional state. 

Step 3: Honor What You Feel - Stand up for oneself, establish and enforce boundaries, prioritizing self-care before extending help to others. 

Recognizing the thin line between helping and falling back into codependency is crucial. It's acceptable to help others, but it's essential to examine motivations and set boundaries. As part of the healing journey, it's okay to prioritize personal needs, allowing the development of skills for healthier relationships without self-sacrifice. 

Getting over codependency is tough. It can make you feel anxious and guilty when you try to put yourself first. But even though it's hard, going through this process is super important. It helps you learn new skills and find a balance for healthier relationships. It's all about breaking free from the struggles of codependency, finding happiness again, and being able to help others without losing yourself.