Mastering No Contact

Today's topic is a biggie – going no contact. Whether it's with a romantic partner, a friend, or a family member, dealing with this process is a lot. It’s more difficult when you’ve never had to go no contact with anyone before and you fear this person’s reaction. Let’s get down to what you need to know to manage yourself and this relationship.  

The Problem with Getting Too Attached to Someone 

When you really like someone, it's hard to see their flaws. But if you decide to stop talking to them, you might have to face the truth about who they really are. Sometimes, our feelings for someone are based on tough experiences, and that can make it hard to think clearly. It's important to know that these strong feelings are more about emotions than good reasoning. Just because you feel strongly about someone doesn't mean they're good for you. 

Many people are scared to stop talking to someone because they worry about bad things happening or not knowing what will happen next. Feeling lonely can also stop them from walking away from relationships that are not good for them. The first step to breaking free from these bad relationships is realizing that something is not right. 

Love Bombing and the Urge to Go Back 

Sometimes, people use excessive love and attention to lure you back into a relationship. When you keep thinking about the perfect image of someone or remembering the sweet things they did in the past, it can make you ignore the actual problems in the relationship. It's crucial to understand the difference between genuine, healthy love, unhealthy love, and the mix-up of emotions and logical thinking. 

Setting Limits and Being Consistent is Key 

If you want to stop talking to someone, you need to set clear rules and stick to them every time. Creating strong boundaries and sticking with them is like building a solid base for a better routine. It might not be super easy, but doing things over and over in the same way makes it simpler to distance yourself from the person and the problems linked to them. 

Mistakes I don’t want you to make: 

1. Trying to Get Closure 

Wanting closure, like apologies or explanations, can be a problem. Understand that the person might not be good at reflecting on themselves, and getting closure is more about deciding to move on over and over. 

2. Communication Issues 

Stopping or reducing communication is hard, especially when your pride is involved. Don't fall into the trap of trying to prove someone wrong through texts and emails. It's important not to react the way they want, as some people purposely try to upset you. 

3. Revenge 

Feeling the need for revenge, like exposing the person or showing off a new relationship, just keeps the pain and anger going. Seeking revenge doesn't give you the satisfaction you want and makes it harder for you to move on. 

Getting Past Being Too Trusting and Dreaming 

Don't imagine a perfect version of the person or make up stories about them being super happy with someone else. It's important to see who they really are and realize that their actions show how reliable they are. Don't be too trusting; instead, try to have a relationship with them without getting too emotionally involved. 

To sum it up, getting good at not talking to someone means learning to give yourself closure, setting clear rules, and resisting the urge for revenge. It's about not being too trusting, facing reality, and focusing on loving and being happy with yourself. By working on these things, you can become a healthier, more confident person. Remember, learning from mistakes is a big part of growing as a person. Stay strong, work on yourself, and let's move forward together! See you in the next article!