The Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting
Jan 06, 2025
Gaslighting can really mess with your head, can’t it? It’s not just about the arguments or the manipulation in the moment—it’s about how it sticks with you long after the relationship is over. Maybe you’re doubting yourself constantly or second-guessing every decision. That’s what gaslighting does. It creeps into your mind and makes you question everything about yourself.
If you’ve been through this, first, let me say I’m so sorry. No one deserves to feel like they’re losing their grip on reality. And second, I want you to know it’s not your fault. Gaslighting is designed to make you doubt yourself. It’s sneaky, and it works because you trusted that person, and they took advantage of it.
Now, let’s talk about how to move forward. It’s not easy, but step by step, you can start healing and reclaiming your sense of self.
What Gaslighting Does to You
Gaslighting doesn’t just happen during the relationship—it leaves a lasting mark. Over time, you might notice things like:
- You don’t trust your gut anymore, even about small things.
- You’re constantly unsure of yourself or your decisions.
- You feel like your self-esteem has taken a serious hit.
- You can’t seem to shake the anxiety or sadness that follows you around.
It’s no wonder you feel this way—someone spent a lot of time convincing you that your reality wasn’t real. But here’s the thing: you can undo that damage.
How to Start Healing
The first step? Recognize what’s real. What happened to you was real, and your feelings about it are valid. You don’t have to explain it away or try to convince yourself it wasn’t “that bad.” It was bad, and it’s okay to say that.
Next, start paying attention to your thoughts. When that little voice of self-doubt creeps in, ask yourself, “Is this true, or is this the gaslighting talking?” Journaling can really help with this. Writing things down lets you see patterns and realize just how much someone else’s words have shaped your beliefs about yourself.
It’s also so important to surround yourself with people who lift you up, not tear you down. If you don’t have anyone like that right now, start small—maybe it’s finding a community online or listening to voices that encourage and validate you.
And let’s not forget boundaries. If the gaslighter is still in your life, boundaries are your best friend. Whether it’s limited contact, clear communication about what you will and won’t tolerate, or even cutting ties, boundaries are how you protect your peace.
Finally, rebuild your confidence one small step at a time. You don’t have to jump into big decisions right away. Start with something easy, like choosing what you want for dinner or what show to watch. Each time you trust yourself, it’s a win.
I know it’s hard. Rebuilding yourself after someone has torn you down takes time, patience, and a lot of courage. But every little step you take is worth it. You’ll start to see that you can trust yourself again, that you are stronger than you think, and that your future can be brighter than your past.
