The Signs of A Female Narcissist
Dec 02, 2020Here Are the Signs of a Female Narcissist and What to Do in a Relationship with One
Many of my YouTube videos talk about how to handle a narcissistic relationship in your life. More specifically we often dive into the male narcissist.
Today, we are going to switch things up and discuss the female narcissist.
First, I want you to know if you are in a relationship with a narcissist: you are not alone. Many people deal with relationships like this.
I create all of my resources — videos, coaching services, podcasts, and blogs — to give you the support you need to not only manage this relationship but more importantly manage yourself around this person.
Narcissism is more common among men, but women can also suffer from this disorder.1 2
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental condition in which someone has a huge ego, lacks empathy, and wants excessive attention. This creates manipulative behavior that hurts others.
The reality is narcissists have very low self-esteem. They suffer from their own unseen wounds, and they may not know they are suffering in this way. These wounds create their destructive behavior.
Unfortunately, narcissists typically do not understand how their behavior hurts others, and this makes them more dangerous. It’s important you learn to recognize this behavior.
What is the difference between male and female narcissists?2
Both genders will fight with their partners to be superior in the relationship. This relates to both personal and professional relationships. However, we do find differences between them,
Male narcissists tend to gain their confidence from self-assurance, while females must gain authority over others to feel better about themselves.
Men love to collect money, while females excessively spend any money they might have. The more stuff female narcissists have to show off to their friends, the better they feel about themselves.
Male narcissists often find children to be a nuisance, while the female narcissist loves to spoil them and takes pride in her children’s accomplishments.
How do you know if you are dating a female narcissist?
A female narcissist loves to get things from you. She thrives on the money, gifts, and affection you give her. She needs your love to prove her own worth to herself. She is going to flaunt you and everything you spend on her to anyone she can. She is not a modest person by any means.
The female narcissist loves creating drama.
She is going to boss others around to feel in control, and she loves to gossip. When most people gossip, they do not feel good about themselves afterward. For a female narcissist, however, there is no feeling of guilt for her words, the gossip she spreads, or rumors she starts.
All she knows is she enjoys this behavior on a very unhealthy level. It allows her to judge, look down on others, and feel more important. She is feeding her fragile ego.
A female narcissist uses her sexuality to pull you tighter into the relationship.
She’s going to rush intimacy and try to make you addicted to her affection.
Why? Because the more you love her and think you need her, the better she feels about herself. This allows her to have control over you when she will inevitably abuse you, mistreat you, or betray you.
Control and manipulation are two big signs of a narcissist.
There are plenty of controlling and manipulative people, but the female narcissist craves control. She needs to feel in control of you and the outcome of any situation. This again feeds her ego.
What should you do to deal with a narcissistic partner?
Since narcissists cannot take any accountability for themselves, they struggle to see their own unhealthy behavior.
This makes it extremely hard to have a relationship with them. There is no way to work on the relationship, have healthy communication, or compromise. Her deep wounds make it nearly impossible for her to change.
If this happens, the best thing you can do is get out of the relationship.
The only other option you have is to manage your own thoughts and feelings. Accept that the relationship is not going to change.
I know this sounds difficult to you now, but over time you will discover there is no working on the relationship. A two-way street does not exist here, only the one-way road you travel alone.
What should you do to recover from a narcissistic relationship?
Whether you choose to stay with your partner or not, there are a few things you must do to heal from this toxic relationship.3
- Do not deny what you have been through, and do not believe you did something to warrant the narcissistic female’s harmful behavior. You did nothing wrong!
- Boundaries with anyone are important, but boundaries with a narcissist are necessary! If you are still together, establish rules for what you will not tolerate. If you decide to leave the relationship, I encourage you to remove her from your life.
- You might find yourself dealing with anxiety, fear, or shame from how she treated you. If so, consider reaching out to a coach, therapist, or any professional familiar with these types of personality disorders.
- Remember who you are! The female narcissistic often demands you change to meet her approval. Take time to work on yourself. Learn how to honor your own thoughts and feelings. Work hard on loving yourself again, and heal from your own wounds.
Are you interested in learning more about this?
You can check out my Youtube channel for more strategies on relationships and narcissism. I even have a video on the female narcissist: “Signs of a Female Narcissist! | How to Deal with this Woman |.”
If you are searching for a coach to help you in your life or relationships, reach out to me for an individual coaching session. I’m here to help you heal, thrive, and transform your life.
Resources:
- https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2015/07/the-difference-between-male-and-female-narcissists/
- https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/9-tips-for-narcissistic-abuse-recovery#emotions
