Traits Of A Good Partner

dating relationships Nov 05, 2021

We often talk about the red flags and signs of a toxic and narcissistic partner. But let's start talking about what makes a good partner and what we should look for in a relationship. 

We all have traits and characteristics that we want in a partner; chill, spontaneous and fun, easy-going, etc. We have our preferences and image of our "ideal partner." But reality rarely ever meets our perfect image. It's okay to have these preferences, to find someone who is most compatible with you. But there are some traits that we need in a partner to be able to build a relationship. Traits that you want to look for, so you can have a healthier and happier relationship. 


Let's look at the top 8 traits of a good partner.

  1. Actively Listens

You want a partner who uses active listening. Active listening is where the listener takes in the information and actively engages with gestures, questions, comments, etc. Compared to a passive listener who just takes in the information without acknowledging what it is they are being told. You want someone who will actually want to learn more about you, who you are, your hobbies, and your desires. 

  1. Shares the Burden

We want someone who will help carry our load. Part of being in a partnership is not tackling things on your own; it is having someone who you can rely on. A partner shouldn't want to see you down and struggle. They should want to help you and lessen the bad in your life.

  1. Makes Life Better

You want someone there who will add to your quality of life. Who you can rely on and know they won't take advantage of a bad situation. A partner who is empathetic to the people around them. And one who will work to treat others with the care and respect that is deserved. 

  1. Not Threatened 

They are not going to feel emasculated by your success. Whether it is a more prominent position, money, or a skill, they share and are happy for your success. They are not threatened by you and what you are able to accomplish. You get to be who you are with your feminine and masculine energy without fear of judgment.

  1. Consistent

They do what they say they are going to do. You can trust that they will follow through with their plans without them flaking out. Consistency tends to be a big issue that couples will often discuss. That they get frustrated at the lack of follow-through in the relationship. 

  1. Feel Safe

You are not afraid. They can make you feel safe physically, mentally, and emotionally. You're not afraid to let your guard down and be at your most vulnerable. 

  1. Actively Working To Better Themself

You want someone with a growth mindset. They work to better themselves, even by a little bit, every day. They understand their wounds and areas in their behavior that can be unhealthy or even toxic, and they actively and consciously work to improve themselves. 

  1. Respectful

Respect is absolutely needed. When we are talking about respect, we're not only talking about treating your partner equally and compassionately. We are also discussing standing up and talking to your partner about unhealthy behavior and issues. It can be hard to call someone out, but in relationships, that is so important. We are all human. We all make mistakes and can act selfishly. It is up to us to hold each other responsible for our poor actions and behavior. 

When we are looking at partners and building a relationship, there are universal things that we all need. To be respected, feel safe, be heard, and so on. These eight traits are the minimum bar you should have in place. If someone does not respect you, make you feel safe, or care to get to know you, then you're going to end up in a stressful relationship. However, this does not mean that the person has to check every box perfectly. There will be people who may not be the best listener or have trouble following through on a task, but they need to be aware of their behavior and willing to work on it. If they are aware and understand the importance of improving themselves, then there is hope for a healthy relationship.