Why Does The Narcissist Provoke You?

breakups coach dating health life mental narcissist relationships Dec 02, 2020

This week’s Youtube video talks about why narcissists want to provoke you.

Narcissists enjoy making other people react in an upsetting way. They want to get you to respond to their actions. Any moment to ruffle your feathers is a victory.

This makes things difficult for you. Do you find yourself constantly arguing with your narcissistic partner? It feels like he is always searching for an argument.

Can you remember a time when you were having a great day and that day was ruined when the narcissist did or said something hurtful? You asked them to not do this, and they instantly reacted with more frustrating behavior.

Why does a narcissist do this?

Narcissists love to taunt other which then causes the victim to get upset. This allows the narcissist to feed off them. Therefore, they are called energy vampires because they are provoking another person to get arise out of them. This then feeds their already fragile ego into making them feel better about themselves because you feel bad. Your hurt gives them pleasure. The ability to make you react makes them feel superior in the relationship.

Narcissists love to make crazy accusations to get you to pay attention to them. This allows them to feel in control because they are controlling your mood.

Do you find your narcissistic partner loves to start arguments on holidays?

Sometimes it feels like the closer a holiday or even approaches, the more unbearable a narcissist becomes. Why?

A Narcissist needs constant attention. This feeds their ego and allows them to feel like the most important person in the room.

A holiday or event (like a birthday party) takes the focus off the narcissist. He is not the center of attention, and this scares his already broken ego. He tries to create problems to bring attention back to him.

Another way a narcissist wants control over you is by trying to make you jealous.

They might flirt or tip toe on inappropriate behavior with someone else all to make you look at them. This might look like them telling you “they are just a friend” when you are starting to feel insecure or perhaps jealous because of their own actions.

The narcissist might create a love triangle with someone else to make you jealous of that person. Again, this is not just about someone’s physical appearance this is just about what this person has that you do not. Remember, a narcissist knows you very well, so they are going to focus on the things that make you insecure.

To dig deeper into this topic and learn how to deal with a narcissist, check out my Youtube video on this topic!