Why You Still Have The Same Problems After Going To Therapy!

I'm excited to dive into this topic today because it's something I've been hearing from many people for years. Have you ever felt like you've been stuck in therapy for an eternity and yet still find yourself grappling with the same old issues, time and time again? Well, you're not alone, and I'm here to shed some light on why this might be happening. 

Now, don't get me wrong – therapy is an invaluable resource that can offer a plethora of benefits. It helps you gain clarity on your situations, understand yourself and your relationships better, and even provides coping mechanisms and a space to process trauma. But what if therapy isn't quite doing the trick for you anymore? Why do you find yourself in this seemingly never-ending loop of discussions that don't lead to real change? 

Validation: The Double-Edged Sword of Therapy 

One of the reasons people tend to get stuck in therapy is the allure of validation. While validation is essential for emotional healing, it can become a double-edged sword. Sitting on the therapist's couch provides a sense of relief, a safe space where you can release your emotions and have someone listen without judgment. This validation feels great because, often, you aren't offering it to yourself. 

But here's the catch – while validation is crucial, it's not a catalyst for profound change. So, the cycle continues. You leave each session feeling temporarily better, yet, at the core, the same narrative replays over and over, reinforcing your role as a victim. And who wants to remain in that victim mindset forever?  

When therapy doesn't help you progress, it may lead to frustration, and you might even stop attending sessions. However, for some, this vicious cycle feeds the ego, reinforcing the belief that they are the victim, while the rest of the world remains responsible for their pain. 

The Missing Piece: Learning to Detach  

What therapy often lacks is teaching you how to detach. While it's an excellent platform for emotional exploration, it may not equip you with the tools to navigate through these feelings on your own. You've learned to tap into your emotions – a crucial skill – but you haven't been taught how to trust yourself with your feelings, fears, and stressors. Instead, you rely heavily on your therapist or others to guide you through these turbulent waters.  

This lack of self-trust and detachment keeps you perpetually stuck in the cycle of repetitive thoughts and emotional turmoil. The issue is that you're feeding the thoughts by reacting to them with constant worry and anxiety. The more you react to these thoughts, the more you empower them, eventually manifesting your worst fears. 

So, what's the missing piece in the puzzle? It's about action. You must learn how to take action. Remember that behavior change is what genuinely alters thought patterns. Repetition alone won't cut it; you need a combination of repetition and action. When a thought keeps knocking at your door, you must acknowledge it, detach from it, and then do something different – act, even if it scares you.  

Understanding Your Mind: The Key to Transformation 

One critical aspect that might be missing from therapy is a comprehensive understanding of how your mind operates. Most of your thoughts aim to keep you safe and often stem from past traumatic experiences. These thoughts are not real, but they persist because you've been unconsciously feeding them. The more you engage with these thoughts, the more they control you. 

If you haven't been taught these essential aspects about your mind and how trauma influences your thoughts, you might find yourself in a never-ending loop. The key is acknowledging the power of your thoughts, detaching from them, and then taking empowering actions to break the cycle. 

Coaching vs. Therapy: A Different Approach 

While therapy is incredibly beneficial for various reasons, coaching focuses on moving forward. It offers you the tools you need to empower yourself mentally and emotionally to achieve your goals and overcome challenges. In coaching, we educate, but we don't dwell on the past. The primary goal is to help you take responsibility, gain confidence, and navigate your life effectively. 

If you're stuck and feel like therapy isn't quite getting you where you want to be, don't hesitate to seek a different approach. You have the power to break free from old thought patterns, take action, and build a brighter future for yourself.