You’re Not BrokenJan 06, 2023
It can be hard to admit when we go through something traumatic. Not only about admitting these wounds to other people but admitting these to ourselves. Often acknowledging these wounds can feel like we are acknowledging that there is something wrong with us, that we're broken. Once we admit and accept these wounds are in us, we won't be able to go through life as if nothing happened. We can't keep pushing these feelings down, swallowing our pain, guilt, or shame.
You feel broken inside like there is this hole that you can't fill in yourself, and you are at the point where you can no longer ignore it.
Acknowledging Your Trauma
Acknowledging our trauma is the first step in the healing process. However, this step is often harder for people to do than they realize. Recognizing not only the pain we experienced but the lasting effects of that trauma. Acknowledging that there are these wounded, vulnerable parts of ourselves that are driving us. Acknowledging a hole within us that makes us afraid or angry or sad, and keeps us from moving forward in our life.
Accepting our trauma is something that we do over time. Accepting each part of the truth, little by little, every day.
When we begin accepting our trauma and those wounds, we can release the emotions we have been holding within us that we never knew were there. We can learn and understand what we are feeling and look into ourselves to better understand what it is we need. We begin learning more about our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Fighting The Stigma Around Your Trauma
Many people are forced to confront certain stigmas when acknowledging their trauma. It can be negative beliefs about mental health, about being "broken," or even specific to certain trauma experiences. The stigmas around mental health and trauma can come from yourself or from the people around you.
- Self Stigmas - These are feelings or beliefs around mental health and how you treat yourself because of them. This can look like sabotaging your relationships because you feel you aren't good enough or alienating yourself from certain people and situations. It can also be feeling embarrassed about the fact that you have trauma or a mental illness.
- Public Stigmas - These are the feelings, beliefs, and treatment around mental health from others. This could be where others believe that people with trauma or mental illnesses are weak, at fault, dangerous, incapable, unpredictable, etc. People can face these negative connotations from friends, family, work, or even medical professionals.
Healing from our trauma is a long and often sticky road. When we walk down this path, we learn so much about ourselves and others. We learn about the people we were vulnerable to, that we relied on, who then took advantage or fell short of meeting our needs. We also start confronting those fears and stigmas that go with trauma, that go with each of our wounds. We start having to push our ego aside and accept the truth that it is okay that we are hurt. That feeling broken doesn't mean we can't get better; it doesn't mean we can't heal ourselves.
Now We Can Begin Healing
As we discussed, healing starts with accepting our traumas and fighting those stigmas within and around us. Then you will want to reach out to a support network to have people around you who can help you on your journey. You could talk to friends, family, coaches, and anyone who is able to keep your best interest in mind.
Next, you will want to learn more about yourself. What exactly is triggering these wounds? Where did these wounds come from? What works? What doesn't work? Your support network can help work through these questions; you can also utilize the support of a professional who is experienced in trauma and mental health.
You will also want to set boundaries to protect yourself. These boundaries can be for certain people, situations, or day-to-day boundaries. Remember, the goal here is to give yourself a safe space to heal.
It is important to make sure that you are doing the necessary things to care for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It is important to also remember that just because you feel broken doesn't mean that you can't be healed.